T turns 6 years old today. She was born in the longest hour and a half I have ever experienced on a super cold day between snow storms. But the immeasurable relief I experienced after the labour was over (WHAT THE &&% DO YOU MEAN THERE IS NO TIME TO TURN ON THE EPIDURAL??) is not the only reason why it was one of the best days of my life, T has been a little ray of sunshine in my life and I told her as much today.
But as I was working until late last night it was almost midnight when I finally wrapped up T’s presents. And I realized with a sinking heart when I was done that I didn’t have a card for her. I remember looking at 3-d cards in the store and thinking, that’ll never top last year’s birthday card which was a sparkling singing-light up pink princess card. Honestly, nothing could top that. I had thought to myself at the time – I’ll make her a card (with all that free-time I have). After all, I ask that they make cards for me, I should be doing the same. One year I photoshopped Morgan’s card with a silly picture of her and her favourite things at the time. I looked at the paper in my printer, and my pink pen (pink is T’s colour) and the clock and wondered what I could make that would still preserve my sanity the next day. Then it comes to me.
A cootie-catcher. Remember those? Earlier that afternoon, she had been drawing a grid like thing at daycare and asking people to pick a square, when she turned it over, she pointed to a heart and said, “you got love” (love, pink and princesses are a big theme in my wee girl’s life right now). The daycare teacher looked at me and laughed and said she has been trying to make one of those things.
So I proceed to fold one up, thinking I could put little messages inside, and even started to think that she could even take it to school and daycare. On the top four, I wrote (in pink, of course): Happy, Birthday, T, 6. Inside there were choices around birthday themes, I was imagining that each time a child picked something, they would be saying things like, “Happy Birthday T” “Chocolate cake and icecream”, “T is Six” and “Presents and gifts”
Inside the flaps , depending on what the child chooses, they can get, 6 hugs, 6 wishes, 6 compliments, or – the best of all – candy! T has to do the thing with each child until they pick that one – that was the rule. At which point T pulls out a lollipop from the bag I gave her to give to the child. On the flip side of the paper I wrote her a birthday letter, reminding her how she was born between snow storm and how the day she was born was one of the best days of my life (in pink of course). You could just see it underneath.
I did this for her this morning, singing “Happy birthday” while opening and closing the thing, and when I was done singing, she could pick a flap inside and repeating until all were opened, each flap being a mystery and each surprise being a delight. I wasn’t really sure how the 6 wishes would go down, but I said, these wishes for you, for wishes you can make come true, these will help you. She went for it. Might not go over so well when she is 14 and rolling her eyes contemptuously at me, but for now, a wish can be a powerful thing. When we were done, I read her the letter, (more hugs) and folded it back up for her.
Although the candy was probably the best delight (what? I get candy at breakfast? Yes – to eat LATER), the best response came from the 6 compliments, as we thought of six things we liked about her. I started with 3, but my other daughter wanted to do the last three (it was a struggle for her to think of them, but she wanted to, at least). This erupted into a spontaneous hug between sisters. Nice things are being said and done, little surprises of affection and love, just what a 6 year old birthday should be all about.
Of course, I didn’t account for the fact that getting T’s fingers and hands to move the way she wanted would not be a simple task. But the joy of the day managed to provide her with some tolerance for frustration and then suddenly she got it and was opening and closing it every which way with confidence. As soon as she got to daycare, she was running in with the – should I still call it a cootie catcher? – birthday card trying it out on some of her small friends, instead of getting ready for school. She came running back, holding it out, “It’s broken!” as it had got folded up and the little flaps for the fingers seemed to disappear. I straightened out, and showed her how to fix it, and told her it couldn’t be broken, that someone would be able to fold it right for her. She added, excitedly, “Drew got candy! I told her she would get it later.”
I thought to myself – with a bit of office paper and my pink pen, this is a pretty good card. That maybe, maybe – if it doesn’t fold itself into confusion, get ripped and T doesn’t get in trouble at school for it – maybe, just maybe, it even tops last year’s sparkling singing-light up pink princess card.
